Determination !

Feb 3.

I would like to start tonights blog with a big Thank you to Chad Kroeger & Santana for the song "Into the night" , thanks to this song I was able to add 15 more minutes of cardio on the eliptical after 35 on the treadmill and I must say it was a big feat tonight, but damn how a good song can get me into a zone that helps me accomplish what feels like the impossible.

I finally got on the scale this morning for the first time since Saturday. I am happy to say I'm down 3.4 lbs , as happy as this makes me it also is a reminder of how damn slow it comes off and how damn fast it goes back on ! I am determined...determined determined to get my old self back, just the fact that this seems to be tonight's mantra makes me believe things are different in my head and the switch has flipped which in all honesty makes me pretty proud of the strong woman I am.

I can be stubborn, anyone who knows me can attest to this, but one place in my life my stubbornness has helped me more than many parts of my personality is that once I make up my mind on something it cant be easily changed. I may seem to take forever to make a decision that some one else would just jump into, but once I make up my mind its all systems ahead.

I WILL stick with this, I will not cheat, I will head to the gym even when I dont feel like it, I will look at the hot fudge and fantasize....and walk away. I will be my own biggest advocate, I can do this, Ive done it before and dammit Ill do it again !

As for keeping my big mouth shut, well of course I couldn't. Gail is more than thrilled, giddy more like it, almost like Tuesday when I came to work and admitted my plan and linked her to my blog I gave her a wonderful gift. Gail and I have worked out on and off since our 16 year olds were in first grade. We work together, we eat lunch together, went through our divorces together, deal w/ idiot ex husbands together and when we work off the fat, we work it off together and Gail started a month or so ago, but I was nowhere near ready to even think about it, infact I think my statement was "helllll nooooo !!!!" But now, typical me I came to it on my own, in my own time and actually with no one but myself in mind which is why I'm so determined I think. This week we have had "healthy snacks" for our 10 minute morning break , we have not left work for the typical fast food and Chinese and instead have stayed at work, locking ourselves in a back office and eating lean cuissine and grapefruit and gails wierd chicken and rice w/ bar b que sauce ( shes just wierd...no other way to put it!) .
I can say I dont feel deprived ,though I was pissed lastnight at the amount of fat in a wendys taco salad (had a class w/ Domanic last night so we had to eat fast) frigging 38 grams of fat...THIRTY EIGHT WTF !!!!!! ok ok I'm over it, but dammit dont give a "salad" more fat than a grilled chicken sandwich that's just wrong !

Alright, I rambled long enough, I'm sweaty from going to the gym at 8pm , I have a 7am meeting and its 10:50 pm and I still need to shower before I head to bed.

so far so good =)

-Kimmer